John Kloberdanz

Better

8/4/2019

The end of the day has no daylight left
The end of the night is still dark
The shade rises and sets from the east to the west
I'm lost and I'm hidden and hard

I wish I could say I'm better today

Looked at myself when I finally got up
It wasn't the picture I knew
A shower, a shave, didn't help me clean up
I'm not sure what else I can do

I wish I could say I'm better today

I wish I could say the words
That I wish I could look for
I wish I could feel like I should
I wish there was something more

Everyone's scared, they don't know what I'll do
Promises that I can't make
They gave me a pill and closed the file
And told me that I'd be ok

I wish I could say I'm better
I wish I could say I'm better today

The Story of the Song

I wrote most of this song in February 2018. It's pretty obvious I was having a rough time, things are going overall ok right now, but they weren't, and I felt a kind of despair that I hadn't felt in about 25 years. Part of my healing process was writing this song, which I put the finishing touches on last week. Please don't worry, I'm ok.

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Sally OMally (spelled with no apostrophe)

7/28/2019

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Watching and waiting for the headliner to play
Drove across Ontario to Detroit that day
Sitting in my sixth row seat
Waiting for Neil Young to sing to me

There was a fellow, name was Robb, sitting to my right
Enjoying a cold beer on that warm Tuesday night
He got up to get himself number two, or was it three
When someone else sat down there next to me

She asked me if anyone was sitting in that chair
I laughed and said some dude named Robb was sitting himself there
She sat anyway and introduced herself to me
Sally OMally, Sally OMally, OMally spelled with no apostrophe

I joked that it might be too loud this close to the stage
Or maybe Robb who's sitting there will trade his place
You're a squatter but you seem normal and sweet
Sally OMally, Sally OMally, OMally spelled with no apostrophe

She talked about Bob Segar and other shows she'd seen
And where she used to live and where she wants to be
She keeps her Dodge in the garage when it rains or it snows
And for Coneys the best place is Lafayette, and that's where I should go

(spoken banter)

Don't remember the name of the guy sitting to my left
He seemed nice enough but his wife's nervous and upset
With her view in our sixth row seats
Where Sally would soon have to leave

After ten minutes or so, Robb came back and said
"You're in my seat lady go back to yours instead"
I said "Bonjour Robb, c'est mon nouvelle ami
"Sally OMally, Sally OMally, OMally spelled with no apostrophe"

The Story of the Song

This is based on a true story that took place at the Fox Theater in Detroit on July 3, 2018. Most of the story is true, although I wasn't quite so clever to speak French to Robb when he came back to his seat, but I did introduce Sally and Robb to each other, and I did make the jokes about the sound being too loud that close and that Robb might trade seats with her. I travel on my own from time to time and that's when I especially enjoy bantering, although I watch for opportunities in my everyday life. Big cities are accurately known for being cold and unfriendly, and having lived in New York I can tell you it's because survival is just so stressful, but Detroit is an exception to the rule.

When I met Sally OMally I told her that I was going to write a song about her, she must have thought I landed from Mars. I finished the first draft last fall and played it at Peopleart Coffeehouse, and then finally returned to it a couple of weeks ago. It's a fun little song and I hope you enjoyed it.

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What Makes You Think About Me

7/20/2019

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Here's one more older YouTube video before the week is over. Here I am in 2011 performing my original song "What Makes You Think About Me" at Caz Coffee, another song from my CD "Stumbling Towards Happiness".

I went back to the town that we lived in
And I walked past the place that we met
I carved both our names in a tree with my knife
How could I ever forget?
You told me you'd love me forever
When I kissed you under that tree
I know all the things that remind me of you
What makes you think about me?

I remember the first song we danced to
Just like it was last Friday night
You held out your hand as you rose from your chair
I held you in my arms so tight
But now when that old song is playing
It makes me as sad as can be
When I hear our song it reminds me of you
What makes you think about me?

'Cause it seems that no matter what happens
I keep thinking of your memory

My friends say that things will get better
They say that I'll get over you
But when I close my eyes I can still see your face
And I know what they say isn't true
I wanted for you to be happy
I just thought it would include me
But all that remains are the mem'ries of you
What makes you think about me?

'Cause it seems that no matter what happens
I feel like I'll never be free
Of thinking of things that remind me of you
What makes you think about me?
Oh, what makes you think about me?

The Story Behind The Song

"What Makes You Think About Me" is the oldest song of mine that I still play out regularly. I wrote it in 1992, which makes it over 27 years old at this point, but hey, if Neil Young can still play Cinnamon Girl, then why not?

I thought of the idea for this song as I was Christmas shopping at the Walden Galleria mall a couple of days before Christmas 1991. I was feeling especially sorry for myself as my fiancee Susan and I had broken up earlier that year, and everyone around me was happy and having fun and I was neither. I don't remember what store I was outside but I could show you the exact spot I was standing when I heard a song come from inside the store and I thought to myself "that song makes me think about Susan, I wonder what makes her think about me".

It was at that moment I realized I had the single best song idea of my life thus far, really the first legitimately professional-sounding song idea I had ever had. I turned to a piece of paper in the pad I was holding and wrote "what makes you think about me" and then returned to the task at hand.

I spent a great deal of time over the next few months working this song, I worked harder on it than I had ever worked on a song, because I wanted the finished product to be as good as it's name was.

When it came time to pick the songs for "Stumbling Towards Happiness" this song was not originally on the list. But once Alison heard it she insisted it needed to be there. She was right and despite how depressing it is I have to agree that it fits in well with the other songs I have written.

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Daylight Wasted Time

7/20/2019

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This is a video of me, performing my original song "Daylight Wasted Time" at the 2012 Leonard Cohen Event in Madison, Wisconsin.

I'm going south for the winter
To sit out in the sun
And think about my home
And all the things I've left undone
The warm air and the breeze
Help me pretend I'm doing fine
Try not to look down at my watch
During Daylight Wasted Time

Because somewhere there are people
Who play the most important part
Of deciding when we'll sit and stand
And when the clock will stop and start
They print up the new calendars
But they won't get their hands on mine
I'm keeping it to myself
Now I'm on Daylight Wasted Time

I got lost on my way to work
When the traffic slowed me down
I pulled off the road to find a map
I didn't recognize the town
I thought I'd join the common man
I was parked by the bus line
But off peak service doesn't come this way
On Daylight Wasted Time

I tried to fall forward
Or should I have sprung back
I'm always so confused
Leaning this way, turning like that
I proclaim my love for you
In a voice that's blatantly sublime
My words don't make too much sense
On Daylight Wasted Time

I read that purity of spirit
Was for sale at a special price
They say that it's first come first serve
But let me give you some advice
The salesman's on commission
Won't post his profit on the sign
And every dime that he pulls in is gravy
On Daylight Wasted Time

I've grown tightly into my new skin
But no matter what I do
It doesn't seem to fit too well
It would look better wrapped on you
Maybe then I'd be more comfortable
Watching us in an odd design
Made of eyes and hands and hopes and fears
Hearts and songs and time

I respect those who see things differently
Especially when they think well of me
I'm not preaching to the converted
When I kneel where you can't see
And if I had to I'd do it all again
But I'll skip it if you don't mind
The alarm's got a pleasant quiet ring
When you're living on Daylight Wasted Time

The Story Behind The Song

I believe that it was January 2010 when we were finishing the recording for my album "Stumbling Towards Happiness" when I had this vision that the album needed one more song. It needed to be epic, I saw a big song with seven verses and soaring voices. But not only did I not have a song, I didn't even have a title, and recording was virtually done so it was not to be.

A few months later it was a Sunday morning and the beginning of Daylight Savings Time. I was feeling especially sour with myself and when the alarm went off I thought to myself "forget Daylight Savings Time, lately it feels like it's been Daylight Wasted Time".

A couple of hours later I was at church, choir rehearsal and just finished and I was listening to our pastor, Scott, talking to people about the mission trip to New Orleans that some folks were going to make. I immediately knew that Daylight Wasted Time was the seven-verse song I had been feeling; I went back in the choir room with a pen and paper and in a couple of minutes I had the first two verses sketched out, pretty much like you see them here. The rest of the song took me about a week I think.

Performing at the Madison Leonard Cohen Event was one of the great privileges and highlights of my performing career. I did mainly Leonard Cohen songs, and added two of my own, "Daylight Wasted Time" and "Church Street". Sharing my original songs with an audience of Leonard Cohen fans was among my most self-conscious and nerve wracking times of my life, so I worked that into my schtick that I said at the start of the performance. My favorite part of the video is hearing the laughter as I'm doing my routine.

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It Dawns

7/17/2019

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The official music video for my song "It Dawns", from the album "Stumbling Towards Happiness":

When I've had too many drinks and I start to think
Feeling sorry for myself
I'm black and blue and the world I knew
Is the bar to the top shelf
They give me words of advice, they try to be nice
But sometimes I just don't care
If I'm feeling alone I'd rather go home
Because there's no one there

I'm gonna be who I choose
If I can sleep off all the booze

And it dawns on me
Just what I'm looking for
It dawns on me
The way the past has come and gone
And the road that I am on

If I worry too hard about my cards
Then I won't play the hand I'm dealt
If it's as good as it gets then I have regrets
Sometimes that's how I've felt
I can't break apart the past from things that last
Soon tomorrow's yesterday
I've got nothing to gain from things I can't explain
I try to stay out of my own way

I know that I will be alright
If I can get through one more night

And it dawns on me
Just what I'm looking for
It dawns on me
The way the past has come and gone
And the road that I am on

The truth is I can't seperate
The sins from what'll get me through the gate

And it dawns on me
Just what I'm looking for
It dawns on me
The way the past has come and gone
And the road that I am on

The Story Behind The Song

I was taking a songwriting workshop with my friend Alison Pipitone, and it was going into the last week. I did whatever I could to "bring my A-game" to this last assignment, and I think of it as the closest thing I have in feel to R.E.M.'s "I Believe" off of their "Life's Rich Pageant" album.

"It Dawns" is one of my favorite John Kloberdanz songs. I think the band got the groove I wanted, where it's rocking hard and hanging on but teetering on the verge of chaos. I especially love the great guitar solos by Graham Howes which make this song and much of "Stumbling Towards Happiness" so much fun for me to look back on and listen to from time to time.

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Better

Sally OMally (spelled with no apostrophe)

What Makes You Think About Me

Daylight Wasted Time

It Dawns

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