 Tick, tock, I hear the clock ticking
Tick, tock, the clock sings the same tired song Tick, tock, is that my life I'm hearing Tick, tock there's the clock that never breaks and never wrong I looked at the clock it said to come along
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 So here I am on Super Bowl Sunday with the symptoms of the flu. Boo hoo. I went to the urgent care place since it's Sunday but of course that's what everybody else was doing, and when I saw the waiting room I realized that I could sit there for a few hours so the doctor could tell me to just go home and get some rest. So I saved myself the few hours and I came back home without needing to be told to. I remember the story about how Neil Young wrote "Cowgirls in the Sand" and "Down by the River" when he was home in bed with the flu. Unlikely I'll have that kind of epiphany.
 One thing about being a singer/songwriter is that I'm required by the official singer/songwriter code (look it up) to be honest and confessional. Even when I'm lying. And if that sounds like a contradiction, it really isn't. For example, how did Neil Young explain to his then wife that he "want's to live with a Cinnamon Girl". It must have taken some pretty deft verbal gymnastics.
What's the point? February is FAWM, aka "February Album Writing Month". I'll be posting my songs here. So far I've written two but I'm in bed with a bad cold and coughing and such today so it's unlikely I'm going to post them soon. I've got at least two dozen more new ideas as well. Why such a flurry of activity? Because it's helping me to understand what I've lived and been the last 57 years (I know, I'm old). The songs are all about me. I will post them here as they get posted there. I hope you like them.  Welp, it seems that after writing a few blog entries a few years ago I haven't been here at my website very much. It seems that way because it's true. I've been writing songs here and there and playing out here and there, but only telling people on my personal Facebook page. So here it is a few days before February Album Writing Month (aka "FAWM") starts, and I'm thinking about doing it once again. One thing about FAWM is that it motivates me to be motivated, at least for one month out of the year. I wrote 14 songs last February, although none of them were necessarily the bee's knees, but I continue to persevere.
In 2017 I finally got down south to see Drivin n Cryin, one of my favorite bands. They are fronted by Kevn Kinney, one of my favorite songwriters. It was 27 years ago that I bought Kevn's "McDougall Blues" album and I've been hooked on his writing ever since. But what I didn't realize is that DnC is quite simply the BEST live band I have ever seen, and there I was standing right in the front for two shows. If you're reading this thanks for sticking with me at some level. I do hope to lift my spirits a bit in the next few years from what they've been the last few...I seem to say that pretty much every January and maybe this year it'll be true. When I released "Stumbling Towards Happiness" I wanted to record a music video or two, but life got in the way. Of course there's never a better time than the present, and it's better late than never, and if I thought about it a little more I'm sure I could come up with a few more catch phrases. In the meantime, here's the opening song, "It Dawns". And if you don't know which 80's music video I'm referencing here, well, then you just weren't very cool. When I decided to bring back my website and have a blog as the focus of it, part of that was the decision to have a forum to be honest with the world. Facebook is fun but I've found that it's a poor place to share things that are more than a word-bite, whether good or bad. For today's post I've recorded a song that has been due for recording, even if simply, since it was written in December 2013. It's the last song I've felt connected to. Not that others I've written over the last while weren't "good", but sometimes I have an emotional connection to things I write and they don't need to be sad; I feel a very deep connection with "Has-Been" and it's goofy. Things have been very difficult in our family the last few years, our lives have been filled with doctors and therapists and home visits and things I'm not going to talk about and wishes that tomorrow or next month or next year will start to get better. But the truth is that in many ways they haven't, all the prayers and all the professionals telling us that "you're doing the right thing" only go so far if the right thing isn't working well enough to make life better. Life has no guarantees, we do the best we can every day and hope for the best in return. Sometimes we just don't get it. This part of our journey started in early 2010, and too often I'm old and tired. So, no, saying things like that on Facebook doesn't translate very well next to tagging myself in the middle of a burrito or whatever level I've reached at Trivia Crack. I wrote "Is The World Better?" one day when I was questioning my place and my reasons and whether I had added more than I had taken and what would have happened if I hadn't been. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Is the world better for me being here Wouldn't you all have figured it out If I hadn't existed How could you have missed it Is the world better, sometimes I have my doubts Is the world better for me being here I think of the good things I do But sometimes all the laughter Is more like a disaster And you'd be better off than you knew I've got time to be myself once in awhile Once in awhile I can be myself But not for awhile, not yet anyway Is the world better for me being here I'll sleep it off hoping it's true Time is my friend Until I reach the end And I return all my time back to you One of my favorite memories of creating my CD "Stumbling Towards Happiness" was the process of picking out the ten songs that would be on it with my friend and producer Alison Pipitone. I selected ten songs that I thought would be good choices and shared them with her for us to discuss together. Certain songs were obvious choices such as "Has-Been" and "It Dawns" and of course "Church Street" which most people consider my best song. However, a few of the songs were less certain. In the end, we agreed that nine of my ten original recommendations were to live on. It may surprise many people to learn that the song "What Makes You Think About Me" was the eleventh and substitute choice. I say this because I have probably received more compliments for WMYTAM than any other song I've written. However, while I think WMYTAM has a nice melody and a universal but original idea it's kind of sappy and very depressing, and it was written many years ago in 1992 (yeah, I'm old). But it was an important song because it was the first time I wrote something that had broad appeal and sounded like what I saw in my head. As is often the case with me, it started with the title, "What Makes You Think About Me". It was two days before Christmas in 1991. I was shopping at the Walden Galleria Mall and I guess I was feeling a bit down as it was the first holiday season after my ex-fiancee Susan and I had broken up. I could show you the spot I was standing when I thought of the title, I was walking past a store (I don't remember the name) and I heard a song (I don't even remember what song it was) and it reminded me of Susan, and I thought to myself, "Man, that song makes me think of her, I wonder what makes her think about me". I thought it was a good idea, actually my first legitimately good song idea ever (finally after years of trying at 31 years old!) and I wrote it down on a piece of paper since I had to finish my shopping. I spent many hours writing and working and reworking the lyrics and melody until it was done, until it sounded like what I knew it was to sound like. I think we all did the song justice on the CD, it's a pretty song filled with sadness. How could I have known at the time that I would have found true love only a few years later? I couldn't, but that's good because if I had I wouldn't have been able to write "What Makes You Think About Me?". So in addition to hearing the album version (click "My CD" at the top of the page) there are a couple of live solo versions on YouTube. Here's one from 2011. For the last couple of years there's been nothing here at my website but my high school yearbook picture (circa 1979) and a few words claiming that this site was under construction. You might ask, how could something so simple be under construction for so long? Of course it couldn't be. But it is now. I've decided to bring back a media player with my 2011 CD "Stumbling Towards Happiness" for you to listen to. See the "My CD" page. In honor of those couple of years, here for one last time (until the next time) is my high school yearbook picture, with apologies to Gabe Kaplan of Welcome Back Kotter TV fame.  |